DOING DRUGS WITH
PAUL DILLON

If you were one of the many parents that watched ABC TV's 4 Corners episode 'Dying To Dance' who have never had anything to do with the nightclub or dance festival scene I'm sure you were quite confronted by what you saw. Since it aired a couple of weeks ago I have received a number of emails and phone calls from parents so disturbed by the program that they made contact to try to establish if the program truly represented what was happening at dance festivals across the country. Most of them had sons or daughters that were regular festival-goers and many found it extremely hard to believe that they could be involved in the kind of activity that they saw on the program. Let me start by saying that I thought the program offered a unique insight into a culture that is rarely examined in such detail. Gaining access to dance events is incredibly difficult for the media - no promoter wants a television crew wandering around their event, particularly if the producers...

What do you say the first time your teen turns around and asks if they can take alcohol to a party they have been invited to? This is the situation a mother I met during the week had recently faced and she found herself really struggling with how to respond ... Tina's son Adrian is 16 and has found it really difficult since he started at a new school two years ago to find a group of friends. Last week he was invited to his first teenage party and, although a bit worried about the whole 'party thing', she was also thrilled that this could be the beginning of him finally starting to 'fit in' ... Unfortunately straight after she said he could go, he threw her a curly one and asked if he could take alcohol. According to Adrian, everyone else was going to take a couple of drinks and he didn't want to be the only one who didn't. Tina certainly didn't feel comfortable giving her son alcohol to take to a party (and she made it clear to me, it was never going...

During the week I met two mothers who had both recently discovered that their daughters had been taking ecstasy. Both were very worried and wanted advice on what to do now that they had this information. After finding out what their daughters were up to, both had confronted them with what they knew, aired their disappointment and concerns but were told in no uncertain terms that they had no intention of changing their behaviour and that they were worrying about nothing and that 'everyone does it'! Both of these mums were pretty amazing. It seemed like they had been able to keep their cool when discussing the issue with their daughters, knowing only too well that if they had exploded and ranted and raved, they really did risk jeopardising the already tenuous relationship they had with their child. But you could really see how frightened they were and when one of them said to me - "I just don't want to wake up one weekend and find her face on the front page of the p...

You would had to have been living in a cupboard to miss the latest Australian 'sportsman behaving badly' story that, once again, involved a sportsman getting drunk and proceeding to take part in a number of 'lewd acts'. The shortened version of the video has now almost had 200K views on YouTube and I can't imagine how many times it's been watched via various media organisations' websites who have provided both edited and full versions (which apparently some of them paid for!) for their readership. Not surprisingly, the story continues to have legs two days after the video surfaced (I was interviewed on The Today Show this morning about the wider issue of the Australian alcohol culture but the lead-in was this particular case). Last night all news services covered the player's obligatory apology and his 'deep remorse' for his actions and there are the usual calls that he needs help and, not surprisingly, he has now been apparently sent oversea...

As I've said time and time again, I really don't know how parents do it ... I am just finishing putting together my presentations for 2016 and looking at the available evidence around parenting and alcohol and other drug use. It's no surprise that parents are confused when there are so many theories out there about what is best practice. Before you even start considering the alcohol and other drug issue - let's just look at what we know about effective parenting. There are websites, courses and books on 'positive parenting', 'attachment parenting', 'natural parenting' and 'slow parenting', programs like 'Taking Children Seriously' and then all types of warnings about 'overparenting' and the different type of parent you can become if you're not careful. There's been lots of discussion about 'helicopter parenting' for some time now but did you know there is now such a thing as 'lawnmower parenting' ...

Hardly a week goes by without me receiving an email or a phone call from a parent who is having a problem dealing with their son or daughter and their alcohol or other drug use. Some of these mums and dads put on as brave a face as possible when they speak to me, while others are terribly distraught, some even breaking down in tears, desperate to find a solution to the problems they are facing with their child. This week I had four parents call me in just one day, all of whom were struggling with very different issues, but all telling me that they felt they really had no idea where to go to get help or advice. Now I need to emphasise that I am not a trained counsellor or health professional, and I make sure I make that clear to anyone who calls me for advice in this area. I'm also not a parent so it is impossible for me to imagine what these people are going through. I am an educator and I do know a reasonable amount about the research in the area of parenting and alcohol and ot...

Over the past fortnight we have seen two deaths at dance festivals, apparently both due to ecstasy. Both of these are tragic wastes of young lives and, not surprisingly, the public wants answers as to what happened. It is important, however, that we wait for toxicology and the coroner's report before we jump to conclusions. But as always, the media approaches the usual suspects to make comment and, although we really have little or no information, wild statements are made about possible 'bad batches' or that aggressive policing contributed to the death. Let's be honest here, over the years I've been guilty of finding myself doing a media interview and being pushed into a corner and making a comment that in retrospect was not appropriate. I can also tell you that the last question you are usually asked is "What would you say to anyone who is considering taking ecstasy?" Trying to give a balanced response to that question in the context of of a young person...